May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
