I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
