Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
