I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
