I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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