i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
