I hate all girls vehemently.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold