the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
