You're completely useless in the revolution.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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