So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
