well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
