it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
