so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize