Sorry, I don't speak sober.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize