how do flat chested girls get laid?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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