Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
