please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
