the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
