I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
