its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
