OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
