Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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