How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
