i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
