I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm really busy with my period
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