is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
