white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
