ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You need Xanax blowdarts
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
