singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
