The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
