question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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