Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
