areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
