Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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