Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
