Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
