i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
