I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
did you just send me my own nude
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
