Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
