At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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