I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
