I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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