Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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