so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
