The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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