he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
