question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
