oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
