He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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