I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
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she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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