On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
