Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
