She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize