Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
