Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
