I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
