im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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