Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
