how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
