You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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