Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize