Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
